Vacation
by Scout-n-Demond
Summary: King Dedede decides that it's time for the gang to go on vacation.
1. Chapter 1

The king sat in his throne, slouch apparent with his chin resting against his hand. He would describe his current situation as dying of boredom, though there wasn't much he was able to do about it. After all, nothing was going on in his kingdom, and he doubted anything too terrible was going on throughout the rest of the planet, as he was sure he'd have heard about it by now. Incidents had a way of making themselves known in his kingdom fairly quick, as if Dreamland was a magnet for such things. Thinking about it, he supposed that that statement was likely true, seeing as no other area of Popstar suffered from as much strangeness. What little the other areas did experience always ended up concerning the residents of Dreamland in some way or another.

Sighing, he figured this particular train of thought would get him nowhere; it merely served to further his boredom, in fact. After all, he knew that he would be one of the first people to know if anything at all was occurring that could use his assistance. Clearly, nothing was going on if he hadn't heard of it yet, so what was the point in mulling over the fact? What he needed in that very moment was a way to alleviate his boredom through other means.

As it stood, nothing was bound to happen in any upcoming times. The whole incident with the Haltmann Works Company had just wrapped up not too long ago, and there was always a good period of peace after every instance of terror was resolved. Knowing this, he could only rely on finding other means of excitement, but what was he to do? All of his waddle dees were set and completing all the possible tasks he could think of. Castle Dedede no longer needed any repairs from Haltmann's attack, and as far as he knew, Dreamland's economy and overall situation were good. Nothing else needed to be done that was currently being taken care of, and not a bit of what _did_ still need to be accomplished needed any supervision on his part.

What did people usually do when they knew there was nothing better to do? Sure, he had more free time many years ago and did whatever he wanted, but that was long before he had made any attempt at bettering himself, both as a king and as a person. What he constituted as "fun" back then was stealing from Dreamland's civilians and causing the waddle dees who worked for him as much torment as he possibly could.

Had it truly been so long since then? He honestly couldn't remember any recent instances where he had actual time to waste. Worrying so much about the wellbeing of his kingdom and its citizens drained what little time he used to have to himself, not that he was complaining. Who wanted free time when it was so ungodly boring?

Muttering silently under his breath, he barely noticed as the doors to his throne room opened and shut, a soft pattering of footsteps approaching where he sat. For a moment he thought about ignoring whoever it was and sending them away, but it occurred to him that this was an opportunity to do something. Even if it was something as simple as giving a waddle dee more orders, that was fine by him. By that point, he was bored enough that he'd gladly do just about anything.

"Your majesty, I finished all of the administrative work you gave me for this week," the waddle dee began, continuing on into some sort of ramble. Dedede only payed minor attention to their words.

It took a few moments, though it finally occurred to him that there was only one waddle dee whom he trusted enough to give administrative work to, that being Bandana Dee. He perked up ever so slightly, glad at the new distraction. Bandana Dee was _much_ better than just any random waddle dee barging in to talk to him.

"Bandana! Glad to see you!" he boasted loudly, interrupting the waddle dee midsentence.

Bandana Dee silenced himself, confused at Dedede's sudden outburst.

"Um, me too?" he questioned, still thrown off.

Dedede stood from his throne and flung himself before Bandana Dee, causing the waddle dee to step back in caution. The king had been known to trip and barrel into people in his excitement before, and he was _not_ ready to experience such a thing himself.

"You're just the guy I was looking for!" Dedede exclaimed, only to further Bandana Dee's confusion. "Tell me the good news! What's there to do out there?"

"Um, excuse me?" Bandana Dee continued to question. 'What was there to do?' What did his king mean by that? "I-I mean," he corrected himself, "as far as I know, everything's being taken care of!" Was this what he wanted? "I just wanted to tell you about the administrative work!"

"Oh," Dedede deflated slightly at that. "And how goes that?"

Bandana Dee suppressed a sigh. He should have figured that the king hadn't listened to a single word he'd said earlier.

"I finished all of the work on my end. I wanted to apologize for being a bit late, since there was more work than usual concerning our relations with Floralia, but…" he trailed off. His king had just sat back down in his throne and had clearly gone back to paying no attention to him. What was up with him today?

"My king?" he asked, tempted to wave a paw in front of Dedede's face. "Is something wrong?"

No response on Dedede's end. Well, he hated being so informal with his king when it came to reports, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"King Dedede!" he shouted, startling said king immediately. Finally getting his attention, Bandana Dee continued. "Are you doing okay? I haven't seen you so distracted before."

It almost appeared as though Dedede was attempting to comprehend the waddle dee's question, though he eventually sighed and put his head in his hands.

"I'm bored, Bandana!" he conceded.

Well, that was certainly not what he had been expecting, but he couldn't say he was completely surprised.

"I thought you were here to take some orders or tell me there was something to be done out there, but no! You're just done with the administrative work of all things!"

"Ah, yes, my king," Bandana mumbled, paw behind his head, "as I said before, I wanted to apologize for being so late with it."

Dedede grumbled at that. "Like you even need to worry! Meta Knight hasn't even finished his end of the work yet." He peeked up at the waddle dee, frown firmly set on his face. "Are you positive there's absolutely nothing that needs to be done? I'm dying here!"

"Well, dying is a strong word, my king. You can't really die from boredom!"

"Like I care!" the king retorted, causing the waddle dee to laugh lightly.

Bandana stopped to ponder the situation. As far as he knew, none of the other waddle dees in the castle—nor the rest of Dreamland, for that matter—had anything to report to him, so he doubted anything was really going on at the moment. It was likely that Meta Knight had a lot to get done if he hadn't finished his part of the administrative work yet, but Bandana Dee highly doubted that anything the puffball was working on would appeal to his king. Work on the Halberd probably? That didn't particularly scream Dedede's name.

Coming up with no solutions to Dedede's boredom, Bandana Dee decided that he needed some more information on the overall situation.

"So, what exactly are you looking for? Work wise, I mean?" he suggested. "I can't think of anything that needs to be done, and I doubt Meta Knight will let you anywhere near the Halberd."

"Yeah, as if I want to be working on that thing in the first place!" Dedede responded, confirming Bandana Dee's suspicions. "I'm just looking for something to do, Bandana!" He gestured wildly as he continued to work himself up. "I just don't have free time like this anymore!"

Well, that certainly was an interesting situation, and one only his king would find himself in, of course. After all, who complained about having too much free time? Bandana Dee knew he wouldn't. In fact, some free time sounded like a pleasant surprise to him! With nothing else for him to be doing besides supervising over waddle dees in the area, he was done with all of his work for a while, similar to Dedede. Perhaps they could do something together; something fun to keep their minds off all of the work they'd accomplished in recent times.

It only took Bandana Dee a few more moments to come up with a solution. "How about we go on vacation?"

It didn't register with the king at first, but once it did, he looked positively flabbergasted.

"A vacation?" he questioned.

"Yeah!" Bandana Dee responded. "You have free time; I have free time. I'm sure we can force Meta Knight to have free time. I propose a vacation! Just between you and your top men! That would definitely stop you from being so bored!"

The king put a hand to his chin, rubbing it absently in thought.

"A vacation?" he questioned once again, as though he had no idea what such a thing was. Finally, he looked up, peering at the waddle dee standing before him. "I guess I've never really been on a proper vacation." He paused, momentarily in thought, before continuing. "And I guess I haven't had much time to spend with my favorite pet knight and waddle dee lately, either!"

With that, he jumped from his throne once more, Bandana Dee taking the obligatory few steps back to avoid any imminent collisions.

"Bandana, we're going on vacation!" he exclaimed, looking triumphant.

Bandana Dee nodded his head in agreement, glad that his king was going along with his idea so easily. It would be fun with just the three of them hanging out! Perhaps he would see if Kirby could come along, too. The four of them together always had the most interesting times, as frustrating as it could be after a while. First though, there were some minor issues to get out of the way.

"So, my king, where are we going for vacation? Maybe Secret Sea or Orange Ocean? Although maybe Meta Knight wouldn't be very happy vacationing there. We could try _Onion_ Ocean, though! That place is always really nice out this time of year!" Bandana Dee rambled on, his thoughts racing with possibilities.

"No way!" Dedede interrupted Bandana Dee in the middle of his spiel. "Why would we ever vacation in Dreamland? The point of a vacation is to get away and do absolutely nothing somewhere else! We need to think outside the box here!"

"Okay," Bandana Dee agreed, "so where else should we go? The southern hemisphere is pretty nice right now, I think."

"Southern hemisphere of Popstar?" Dedede questioned, looking skeptical. "Come on, Bandana, I told you to think outside the box! We're not having our vacation on Popstar!"

An awfully bold statement coming from someone who mere moments ago could barely fathom the idea of a vacation. Still, who was he to question the orders of the great king? Vacationing on a different planet didn't sound all too bad anyways, so at least he could admit that Dedede had a point.

"That's really outside of the box, my king, but I can't say I'm complaining!" He did a small hop of excitement, almost mirroring the king's own mirth at that point. "Ah, but I don't know any other planets that well besides ours. Are there any good ones for vacationing?"

"Of course, Bandana! There's how many planets and dimensions out there? We just gotta look into it a little bit and we'll find the perfect planet in no time!"

" _We_ , huh?" Bandana Dee would have smirked if he could. "You mean me, right?"

"Well, yeah! Do I look like the kinda guy who looks that stuff up?" the king scoffed. "Hurry up and get to it, then! I'm not dealing with this any longer!"

"Yes, my great king!" he jumped in place, ready to head out and do some research on planets. "I'll pick out the best planet possible for our vacation!"

Running towards the throne room's exit, Bandana Dee suddenly stopped himself in his tracks. Turning back around, he saw Dedede sitting back in his throne looking proud of himself. There was unfortunately still one more issue he needed to take care of before he left to find the perfect vacation spot.

"Just one more thing, my king," he started, trotting back to the throne.

Dedede rolled his eyes, only half paying attention once again.

"Since we're vacationing on a different planet, are we taking the Halberd? 'Cause I mean, we might need permission to park that thing? It's kinda big after all."

"Yeah, yeah, Meta Knight's ship," Dedede waved off, answering none of his waddle dee's concerns.

Honestly, Bandana Dee felt that there was no reasoning with the king when he was in a mood like this. It was difficult for other waddle dees to get his attention on a regular basis, but the king rarely was distracted enough to ignore his _top_ waddle dee. A different time would definitely be better for discussing such things. Once he had a location picked out for their vacation, he was certain that Dedede would be much more interested in whatever he had to say.

So away he went, mind already racing with possibilities for research. He'd first check the castle's resources, but if that got him nowhere, there were plenty of places around Dreamland he could visit for assistance. It was also likely that he'd be able to get some of the other waddle dees to help him out. The more people doing the research, the better! Even if the vacation did not involve any of them, Bandana was sure that the other waddle dees would be more than willing to help out their king in his endeavors.

This was so exciting! Bandana Dee couldn't wait to go on a vacation. With how hectic Dreamland and the surrounding planets tended to be, there was rarely enough free time for something like this. Similar to his king, Bandana Dee knew that he had never been on a vacation in his life, and the fact that this opportunity was arising for him now was something he'd have never thought would happen.

With these thoughts in mind, Bandana Dee ran off, eager to find the perfect location for their trip as quickly as possible.

* * *

 **A/N** : I'm taking a break from uploading my angsty Undertale fic in order to do something more lighthearted. This is just something I wrote in my free time for the heck of it. Don't expect too much out of it, haha.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you sure they're supposed to connect here?"

"I'm fairly certain. They were together last time we had to work on this."

"But I'm just not seeing how that could've worked. The wires don't match up here."

The puffball and waddle dee sat beside each other, crammed together in the opened panel of the ship's main cannon. The waddle dee held two slightly damaged wires together, staring at them in confusion. His superior held their toolbox next to him, ready to grab whatever they needed next, though he appeared equally as confused.

"I suppose you're right," Meta Knight agreed with the waddle dee besides him, taking a closer look at the wires. "It just doesn't make sense, though. We've worked on this part of the cannon before and haven't had this issue."

"What if that last hit we took just charred everything so bad that we can't do anything? We might have to get some new parts for the ship," Sailor Dee answered, not looking too hopeful.

"The radiator and heat intakes should have been enough to prevent anything from burning, though. Nothing else was damaged like this," Meta Knight insisted, frustrated.

Sailor Dee gently set the two wires down, reaching further back into the machinery to check the other cords within. After examining a few more, he returned to the damaged ones and took the forefront of the area into consideration. Within a few more moments, he simply sighed and slouched in his seated position.

"They're the only parts like this, too. We've fixed everything else!" he complained, gesturing at the wires he had abandoned. "That's the fifth time I've checked already; the rest of this panel's fine!"

Meta Knight glanced over at the transceiver nearby, hitting the receiver. "Mace Knight, what's the current state of the main cannon look like now?"

"Nothing new, sir," came the voice through the speaker. "The cannon's still inoperative. Internal power backup's still reading at zero percent."

"It's these stupid wires!" Sailor Dee ground out, picking the infernal things back up. "They don't go together! What the heck even happened?"

Meta Knight had to admit that he was reaching the same point of frustration as the waddle dee. They should have been able to figure out the problem by now. There were just two damaged wires, something that should have been an easy fix. Things were proving to be much more difficult than that, though.

"It's fine," he sighed, causing Sailor Dee to give him a skeptical look. "We'll just have to get new ones like you said. Is there any indication whatsoever of what went wrong with these ones?"

"I don't know," Sailor Dee admitted, glancing back at the wires in his paws. "They're too damaged. On a normal day I'd agree with you on them going together, but they're just wrong." It appeared as though he was about to continue on, but something seemed to catch his eye. He set the wires down once more, scooting aside. "Here, take a look at them again. I have something I need to ask Mace."

Obliging the waddle dee, Meta Knight shuffled over to check out the wires. Their connections on the opposite ends appeared to be where they were supposed to, and lining everything up with what he'd seen in the past with this particular machinery, they were definitely supposed to go together. So what was the issue? Why did it appear as though their damaged ends weren't compatible with one another?

"Okay, full status report on the cannon interior, Mace," Sailor Dee commanded.

"Where do you get off ordering me around, pipsqueak?" Mace Knight joked back through the transceiver.

Sailor Dee groaned, hearing only an annoying laughter flood back through the speaker. "We're going to be here all day, aren't we?"

It was quiet for some amount of time, Mace Knight likely attempting to bring up all of the information Sailor Dee had requested. Meta Knight had long abandoned the two wires in favor of waiting besides the waddle dee for information. Eventually their crewmember got back to them, listing off every possible detail about the cannon. While there were some things that clearly did not need to be mentioned (such as the current fuel level and energy of the hydraulics, things very unrelated to their current predicament), it was obvious the mace-wielder was listing them off just to further mess with Sailor Dee.

Mace Knight wasn't even able to complete his full report before Sailor Dee's eyes suddenly widened, a lightbulb clearly going off in his head. He interrupted his fellow crewmember with a quick "thanks!" before grabbing some extra tools and going back to the wires. Both he and Meta Knight returned to their former positions next to each other, Sailor Dee now more focused and intent on the wires.

"I think I've got this!" he exclaimed. "Look here," he gestured over towards the edge of the panel. "I must have rewired this wrong when we were replacing some of the broken gears in the back. These stupid things are so similar over here; it's no wonder I screwed it up."

"That explains why we couldn't get these ones to connect," Meta Knight agreed, peering over to where the waddle dee was currently removing and adjusting an extra wire. "It also explains why some of the power adjustments weren't rerouting correctly before."

"I know! It didn't hit me until Mace mentioned that the second terminal was only receiving sixty-seven percent power, because I could have sworn we had already fixed that issue! It was the internal backup power we've been trying to get straight, so that shouldn't have been so wonky." The waddle dee finished adjusting the new cords, clamping everything in place. With a bit of soldering, everything was just about where it needed to be.

Meta Knight returned to the transceiver, contacting Mace Knight once more. "Prepare to power up the main cannon. We'll need some extra status reports once we get everything back up and running."

"Yes, sir!" Mace Knight responded, clearly eager to be finished with the whole ordeal.

The puffball returned his attention to what Sailor Dee was doing, examining the cords nearby to see if they truly were all connected correctly. They had already made the mistake once and had failed to notice anything, so who was to say they hadn't made another similar mistake?

"Look! Problem solved!" Sailor Dee cheered, comparing the two wires to each other. This time, they actually appeared to be properly compatible. "All we have left to do is solder these," he mumbled to himself, grabbing said tool and carefully putting the wire ends together, "and we should be—"

" _Hey there!_ " came an enthusiastic exclamation from behind them both. This was followed immediately by a high-pitched shriek from the waddle dee and a deafening blast from above.

All three of the people on deck immediately put their paws to their heads, attempting to block out the boom from the cannon. All was silent following the sudden incident. Meta Knight simply stared aghast at where the cannon had fired, mind not properly processing just what had happened. Sailor Dee was struck frozen, staring into the machinery panel with a death grip on the tools he held. Just behind them stood a very surprised King Dedede, giving them a look that just screamed "oops!" No one said anything for a good few moments before a light static was heard from the transceiver.

"Um, the cannon wasn't supposed to fire. How the hell did that happen?" Mace Knight's voice broke through. "I just turned on the main power lines, guys! That's it!"

This was followed by two extra sets of footsteps hurrying their way onto the main deck.

"Sir, are you okay?" exclaimed Axe Knight, climbing up towards where three vastly shocked people were sitting. Javelin remained down on deck, awaiting orders.

The king who had made his appearance mere moments before turned to stare at the crewmember, likely assuming that he was talking to him. Before he could respond in any way though, the proper recipient of the question answered.

"We're fine," Meta Knight stated, turning over towards his men. He paused, giving his mind time to catch up to the situation. He ended up pointing over towards where the cannon had fired. "Go do a damage check. We need to make sure the cannon didn't hurt anyone. Remember to get the names and information of anyone whose property might have been damaged."

"Right away, sir!" Axe Knight responded, saluting and climbing back down onto the deck. With orders in hand, both he and Javelin ran off to assess the potential damage.

Having taken care of the immediate issue, Meta Knight hit the transceiver. "Mace Knight, did you shut down the cannon?"

"Yes, sir!" came the response. "Everything's shut down. I'm doing another system check at the moment to see what went wrong. I'll be back with a status report soon."

Meta Knight nodded, satisfied with the response. He turned to Sailor Dee, who had yet to move from his position at the machinery panel. Sitting back down next to him, he put a paw to his back and took the tools from the waddle dee's paws.

"We should give it a rest for today, we don't need the cannon going off like that again," he suggested, Sailor Dee nodding in agreement.

The tools were put away as Sailor Dee silently shut the panel and sealed it back up. Once that was said and done, the waddle dee turned to look at his superior, a shaky sigh escaping him.

"Do you mind if I head up to control and help out Mace?" he asked.

"No, that's fine. I'll take care of everything else here. If you see Trident, Blade or Sword Knight, let them know what's happened. No other orders for now."

"Understood," Sailor Dee responded, climbing down onto deck and running back into the ship.

Once all orders were taken care of and the cannon was no longer in any danger of launching itself again, Meta Knight finally decided to address his uninvited guest. Said guest had been standing off to the side, staring dumbly at where Axe Knight and Javelin had run off to. Though he wasn't paying any attention to the puffball before him, Meta Knight fixed him with the darkest glare he could muster up.

"Really, Dedede, you should know better!" he shouted at the king, aiming to get his attention.

Of course, the loud tone of voice was enough to snap Dedede out of his reverie, as he immediately brought his gaze down to the puffball before him.

" _I_ should know better?" he returned, affronted. "How did I have anything to do with that? You're the ones launching off the ship's cannons!"

That only further grated on Meta Knight's nerves, the king being too oblivious to live sometimes.

"Last time I checked, you're not supposed to sneak up and shout at someone who's clearly working on delicate machinery!" he ground out, though Dedede looked unfazed. "We might not know what caused the cannon to launch like that yet, but for all we know, you could have caused it!"

"Me? Really, Meta Knight?" the king gave his knight a pointed look.

In return, Meta Knight put a paw to his face and suppressed a groan. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with this. At that point, it was best to just find out what Dedede wanted and get him off the ship before he could scare anyone else like he had Sailor Dee.

"May I ask exactly why you're here?" he began, attempting to keep his annoyance under control. It was just Dedede. There was no reason to get so worked up, even if the Halberd's main cannon did just launch itself for no foreseeable reason.

The king scoffed at his question. "Oh sure, now you ask me! I thought you were supposed to be the respectful one!"

Choosing not react to his accusation, Meta Knight could easily tell that Dedede was purposefully trying to get on his nerves. There were two ways he could respond to this: he could just ignore Dedede and head back into the ship to help out Sailor Dee and Mace Knight, or he could push through and see what his king actually had to say. The latter option was of course what he _should_ do as the king's top knight and right hand man, but Dedede's usual treatment of him was not something he wanted to put up with in that very moment. His day had already gone bad enough with both his and Sailor Dee's inability to completely fix the main cannon, and now the thing had gone and fired itself. He could still hear the sound reverberating through his head. The three of them would for sure have severe hearing damage after this.

"Dedede," he started, voice tight, "I'm being as respectful as I can possibly be right now. Now may I please ask why you're here?"

At first Dedede simply smirked at him, grating on his nerves even more. When it seemed that the king wouldn't respond in any other way, Meta Knight decided it was time to go with his former option. Unfortunately, before he could turn away to head for control, a paper was thrust into his face. He grabbed the paper without even thinking, staring at it in bewilderment before really taking it in.

"Alto Star?" he questioned, confusion replacing the irritation in his voice.

"Yep!" Dedede responded. "Now keep reading."

His eyes scanned the paper, taking it into consideration. 'Alto Star, best vacation spot in the nearest galaxies.' 'One of the most tropical planets in this universe.' Just what was he looking at? Shaking his head, he stared at the paper uncomprehendingly.

"Why am I looking at this?" he eventually uttered, looking back up at Dedede.

"Do I need to spell it out for you? We're going on vacation!" Dedede answered, exasperated.

Meta Knight looked back down at the paper advertising Alto Star. There was no way he was going on vacation. He was about to say as much to Dedede, although the king quickly spoke over him, taking an extra step closer to tower over the puffball.

"You can't say no, either!" he proclaimed. "This is a direct order from your great king! Me, you, and Bandana are going on vacation there and that's final! Bandana picked the place out himself, and I have to admit that it's perfect!"

It was officially an order. Dedede _knew_ Meta Knight wouldn't disobey a direct order unless he felt that the fate of the world was in danger. Clearly a vacation wasn't going to end the world any time soon, but why was he so dead set on having one in the first place? Did he not care that there was still quite a bit of work that needed to be done on the Halberd? Especially now, with the possibility that the main cannon had caused property damage or hurt someone. The Halberd was currently situated outside after all, and who knew where that shot could have ended up.

Before he knew it, a gloved hand was waving itself in front of his face. Looking up, all he could see was Dedede's amused face staring down at him.

"Well, if I knew suggesting a vacation was going to send you into a fit, I would have found a better time to tell you!" the king joked

"I can't go on a vacation right now, Dedede. I don't _want_ to go on a vacation. You should reconsider this," he suggested, trying his hardest not to sound like he was whining.

"Why would I do that?" Dedede laughed. "Bandana said it best a few hours ago: I have free time, he has free time, and we're going to _make_ you have free time! So put your rank as head knight to good use and order the rest of your men to finish everything for you!"

"You know I can't do that."

"Yes you can," Dedede stressed, leaning in even closer to the puffball. "You've known me for most of your life and you haven't learned that yet? When you're at the top, you can order people to do anything for you!"

"May I remind you that that's exactly how you became known as the corrupt king of Dreamland?"

"No, I became known by that after I started stealing everyone's food and starving the entire kingdom. I can still order everyone around and they'll listen to me. And I'll remind you that I no longer have that title anymore! Pushing your work onto other people is just fine! Why do you think you and Bandana have never complained about all of the administrative work I give you?"

"I have complained. The Halberd ended up in Orange Ocean because of it."

"That was before I split the work up between you and Bandana!" Dedede retorted. "You were just being a little overworked and having a mental breakdown, that's all."

"I attempted to overthrow you."

"Okay, clearly this conversation is getting us nowhere!" Dedede finally relented, changing the subject. "The three of us are going on vacation and that's final! Get the Halberd ready for takeoff, because we're heading out to Alto Star as soon as possible!"

Before he could argue with Dedede any further, he realized that there was something wrong with what the king had just said.

"We're taking the Halberd?" he gave him a skeptical look, though there was no way Dedede would be able to tell through his mask.

In response, the king looked at him like he was having yet another mental breakdown. "Of course we're taking the Halberd. Do you expect us to actually take a warp star to a different galaxy?"

"It's just that you said only you, Bandana, and I were going on this trip," Meta Knight tried to reason.

"Yes, only the three of us are going. What's your problem now?"

"The rest of my crew is the problem, Dedede."

At that, Dedede gave him a look of pure confusion. His eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out his next response.

"You do know that you don't need your entire crew to fly the Halberd, right? I mean, I _know_ you've taken off on this thing by yourself before. Captain Vul sometimes took off by himself too before he left Dreamland."

"My crew and I live here, Dedede. We live here because we have nowhere else to go. You seem to have forgotten this."

"And I keep telling you that you're free to come back and stay with me in Castle Dedede again any time, but you always ignore the offer!" Dedede complained, missing the point.

"We can't take the Halberd unless you're planning on bringing the rest of the crew with. You and I both know your castle doesn't have enough room to house them alongside the waddle dees that already live there."

It appeared that Dedede finally understood what Meta Knight was getting at, his face suddenly taking on a conflicted look. Perhaps this was the incentive that the king needed to put a rest to his ridiculous vacation idea.

"I can't bring your crew, Meta Knight. This is a special vacation. It's just going to be the three of us," Dedede stated hollowly, as though it would solve all of their problems.

"Then we can't take the Halberd. It's as simple as that. You can either have us take a warp star, or attempt to find some alternate means of travel, though I doubt you will be all that successful. The only other ships I know that are capable of space travel are all located outside of Dreamland, and there's no way the other kingdoms will lend you their ships just for a vacation."

Panic flitted across Dedede's features, and Meta Knight couldn't help but feel a small amount of satisfaction. The vacation would be canceled, and he would be free to return to his regular duties without any royal interruption. Before he could get comfortable with his small victory though, the king responded in sudden excitement, epiphany clear in his voice. Meta Knight felt instant dread.

"The Lor!" Dedede exclaimed.

Dread was replaced by confusion. The Lor? He meant the Lor Starcutter? Well, he supposed he could go back to feeling a small sense of satisfaction again, as Dedede had come up with yet another flawed plan.

"You forget again that some people do live in their ships, Dedede. You also appear to keep forgetting that alongside that, you also only want the three of us on vacation. Even if you got Magolor to agree to us taking the Lor on vacation, we'd have to bring him along."

"Well then fine! Magolor will come along! That's better than taking an entire crew with us!"

Yes, Meta Knight could certainly feel the dread and irritation settling in the pit of his stomach. He'd be stuck going on this vacation one way or another, wouldn't he? There was no way he'd ever willingly drop all of his duties onto the rest of his crew, especially just so he could run off to do absolutely nothing important, but it looked like there was no choice. Besides, he couldn't just tell the others, "Hey! King Dedede is ordering me to go on vacation against my will! Make sure to finish everything up while I'm gone! Don't blow up the Halberd!" That would go over well. The crew would be joking about it for ages. Still, he honestly couldn't come up with any dignified reason for leaving without outright lying to them. He'd have to figure out what to say later. There was hopefully still more time to come up with something before they took off.

"Fine," he finally said, "get in contact with Magolor. Let me know what he says. I still have things I need to take care of here. I need to make sure everyone has their orders set straight before we take off."

Just when he thought Dedede's smile couldn't get any larger, it did. The king was practically beaming at him. Before he could stop it, the king lunged forward and crushed the puffball in his arms, hugging him much harder than was ever reasonable.

"That's my favorite pet knight! You always come around in the end!" Dedede shouted in excitement, spinning them around.

He stopped the spinning just before Meta Knight could actually complain about it, but refused to end the hug.

"You're coming back to the castle with me right now! I'll tell your crew they can take care of everything themselves, no worries!"

"What? No!" Meta Knight responded, horrified.

He began to struggle in Dedede's arms as the king hit the transceiver sitting next to them, though his attempts at escape were unsuccessful. Dedede was just as insanely strong as always.

"Hey, who's up there right now?" Dedede demanded through the transceiver.

"Mace Knight here, my king," came the responding voice.

"Okay, Mace! You're gonna be in charge for a while! I'm taking your captain with me on vacation! Don't listen to anything else he tells you until I say so, got it?" Dedede ordered.

There was a moment of silence before Mace Knight finally responded. "Oh, uh, okay my liege." Though the knight sounded quite confused, Meta Knight could clearly hear the amusement lacing his voice. He would _definitely_ be hearing about this for a long time after Dedede finally let him go.

Dedede hit the transceiver one more time, likely to acknowledge Mace Knight, though Meta Knight beat him to the punch.

"Axe Knight will be in charge alongside you, Mace. Make sure to tell Sailor Dee not to touch the main cannon until I get back. I want to be here in case anything else goes wrong. If you see Blade or Sword Knight, ask them to grab my administrative work for Dedede, I want to work on that while—" His face was shoved into Dedede's coat, effectively silencing him before he could continue his orders.

"That's enough from you! Mace Knight, remember that I said not to listen to anything he says!" Dedede interrupted.

"Should I mention that I'm supposed to take Meta Knight's orders over the king's?" was heard faintly through the speaker, Mace Knight assumedly asking the question to Sailor Dee with the transceiver line still open.

"No, the king might yell at us," was the faint response, confirming Meta Knight's assumption.

"Oh whatever!" Dedede scoffed in annoyance, turning away to jump back down to the deck, his clear destination being the ship's exit. The whole time he was still carrying an increasingly agitated puffball along with him.

Meta Knight could already tell that this was going to be a long trip. He usually could get away with focusing Dedede's attention on someone else when they were together, but with only the two of them and Bandana Dee alone for who knew how long, there was no way he would be escaping the king's (often irritating) attention.

"You're going to smother me if you keep this up," he muttered, trying his best to remove himself from being smooshed against Dedede's side.

"Good, you deserve it for being so difficult!" was the king's only response.

Oh yes, this vacation was going to be terrible.

* * *

 **A/N** : In which Meta Knight and Sailor Dee are the worst engineers ever. In case it isn't obvious by now, I'm just goofing around with this, and there's about a 90% chance that this fic is going absolutely nowhere. Maybe one day these dorks will actually go on that vacation though, who knows?


End file.
